The first funk of Tahoe happened nearly two weeks ago. I was only able to shake it off on Monday.
It's hard to go back to work after being off for nearly two weeks. I'm not very good at getting back into a routine of reminding myself that chip crumbs aren't components of actual meals and that fun is not a luxury, but a priority. No worries, I'm back on track, in record fashion for me in the winter.
Winter in Tahoe makes cold weather blues shrink. There are so many activities you can do outside and it's almost always sunny. It helps. But I think I'm so used to everything falling apart around at this time of year that I just invent it when it really doesn't happen. Funny thing about your history is that it follows you and sometimes begs to stay alive. So, of course, I wondered how my past blogging endeavors have fared around this time of year, and maybe find a pattern of psychosis. Because I am a data-driven teacher. Which means that guy from Star Trek inspires me :)
2003 didn't start out very well. I was a freshman at Eastern Michigan and this is what I had to say on January 20th:
Ypsi is sad, i'll be headin back to her tomorrow, EARLY, yum, hate mornings.
This town makes me want to kill things.
2004 was bleak too:
Things are on the up. I can feel the momentum in the house sway back to normal. It's been a really long fall/winter already and I can't help but feel my bones trying to usher out this cold already. I'm struggling with it, trying to fight it from getting me down.
2009 I was trying to be optimistic. But being surrounded by negativity is hard.
With this new thankfulness, I've run into 29074398672398478947 unthankful people. And it makes me want to murder them. I guess that's karma. Or something.
2010 documented an amazing Felix memory:
I hung out with Felix all day Saturday. He is probably my favorite human. He told me he is a meteor that has fallen to Earth from Neptune, and the only way to save the planet from the volcano is to squeeze the giant brain into the volcano because the brain is full of milk. I want him to always be a giant weirdo. We started a game of wishing into this jar we had in the back seat of my dad's car. He wished to have a giant dragonfly as a pet and a duck. I told the jar that "I wish to go sledding with Felix this winter." He turned to me and said, "That was a pretty good wish."
2011: Being an adult with my first full time job (terrible first job) got to me.
It hit me in the middle of my first vodka tonic in a month. I hate my job. I've finally stopped glazing over the obvious with, "well, it's okay, sometimes it's okay" to this is the source of why my hair is falling out.
2012: I was asked to give pre-marital advice to another couple. Here's a sound byte.
You have to believe that your relationship is a TRUTH, a fact, not a theory or a fairytale, but a thing that nothing can ever question, change or alter. And that's hard if you're conditioned to be cautious with your feelings and be on alert for signs of infidelity, mistrust or betrayal. Being together means you give these up. You retire your spy hat forever...."
2013: The wise Yoda sage had some advice to give y'all
My 2013 advice to myself and to you is to love the tiny things: 5 more minutes of sleep, your favorite Greek yogurt on sale, a simple smile from a non-threatening stranger, and in my case, a tiny little guinea pig that fills up a large part of my heart.
December 31, 2005. My lunacy was at its height and most of this blog is so melodramatic and unreadable, but this is quite a gem.
it is december 31st.
i have split ends.
my uncle and i had a crazy wonderful conversation, which usually is not a crazy wonderful conversation. he made a really funny analogy about "facing your problems."
"what do you do in wrestling when you're in a bind: do you turn away or in to your opponent?"
"IN TO!!"
"THAT'S RIGHT!! now, who do you work for?"
"wha?"
"you work for YOURSELF! now it's time to fire, re-hire, and negotiate a new contract!"
man he was givin a sermon. i thought he was gonna take out a white handkerchief and mop off his sweaty brow.
i'm really into latin jazz right now.
let's rock 2006 right, fellows.
ciao.
It's hard to go back to work after being off for nearly two weeks. I'm not very good at getting back into a routine of reminding myself that chip crumbs aren't components of actual meals and that fun is not a luxury, but a priority. No worries, I'm back on track, in record fashion for me in the winter.
Winter in Tahoe makes cold weather blues shrink. There are so many activities you can do outside and it's almost always sunny. It helps. But I think I'm so used to everything falling apart around at this time of year that I just invent it when it really doesn't happen. Funny thing about your history is that it follows you and sometimes begs to stay alive. So, of course, I wondered how my past blogging endeavors have fared around this time of year, and maybe find a pattern of psychosis. Because I am a data-driven teacher. Which means that guy from Star Trek inspires me :)
2003 didn't start out very well. I was a freshman at Eastern Michigan and this is what I had to say on January 20th:
Ypsi is sad, i'll be headin back to her tomorrow, EARLY, yum, hate mornings.
This town makes me want to kill things.
2004 was bleak too:
January 24th
2008 was back to my sad routine:
i'm dropping out of college this week.i don't care what you think about it but i'm f**king serious.
The start of 2005 was great. I was still in Chicago and this gem happened on January 13th.
last night i learned what a klezmer band is, what a sopranos "jersey" looks like, and that it is possible to be completely drenched by an oncoming car when the streets are flooded and it is raining. and it is pretty funny....or really hilarious. eve got the front of the wave and she was much more fortunate than me. also, when you dont have an umbrella and you are with a best friend/wonderful person, it's ten times more fun. thank you rain for a lovely night.
The start of 2005 was great. I was still in Chicago and this gem happened on January 13th.
last night i learned what a klezmer band is, what a sopranos "jersey" looks like, and that it is possible to be completely drenched by an oncoming car when the streets are flooded and it is raining. and it is pretty funny....or really hilarious. eve got the front of the wave and she was much more fortunate than me. also, when you dont have an umbrella and you are with a best friend/wonderful person, it's ten times more fun. thank you rain for a lovely night.
2006 was a bit rough....
i haven't been sober like this (three straight days) in months. so instead of a heine, i toast this cherry lime-ade to patience and change this week. and getting my liver and lungs to outlive me. i got april fool's and groundhog's day mixed up. that's when you know you need to start reading more and slow down the brain damage.
2007 was great.
Excited for my classes and new organization ideas. And the fact that my life is amazingly wonderful. Nothing like a dose of perspective for the New Year. Yessir.
Things are on the up. I can feel the momentum in the house sway back to normal. It's been a really long fall/winter already and I can't help but feel my bones trying to usher out this cold already. I'm struggling with it, trying to fight it from getting me down.
2009 I was trying to be optimistic. But being surrounded by negativity is hard.
With this new thankfulness, I've run into 29074398672398478947 unthankful people. And it makes me want to murder them. I guess that's karma. Or something.
2010 documented an amazing Felix memory:
I hung out with Felix all day Saturday. He is probably my favorite human. He told me he is a meteor that has fallen to Earth from Neptune, and the only way to save the planet from the volcano is to squeeze the giant brain into the volcano because the brain is full of milk. I want him to always be a giant weirdo. We started a game of wishing into this jar we had in the back seat of my dad's car. He wished to have a giant dragonfly as a pet and a duck. I told the jar that "I wish to go sledding with Felix this winter." He turned to me and said, "That was a pretty good wish."
2011: Being an adult with my first full time job (terrible first job) got to me.
It hit me in the middle of my first vodka tonic in a month. I hate my job. I've finally stopped glazing over the obvious with, "well, it's okay, sometimes it's okay" to this is the source of why my hair is falling out.
2012: I was asked to give pre-marital advice to another couple. Here's a sound byte.
You have to believe that your relationship is a TRUTH, a fact, not a theory or a fairytale, but a thing that nothing can ever question, change or alter. And that's hard if you're conditioned to be cautious with your feelings and be on alert for signs of infidelity, mistrust or betrayal. Being together means you give these up. You retire your spy hat forever...."
2013: The wise Yoda sage had some advice to give y'all
My 2013 advice to myself and to you is to love the tiny things: 5 more minutes of sleep, your favorite Greek yogurt on sale, a simple smile from a non-threatening stranger, and in my case, a tiny little guinea pig that fills up a large part of my heart.
So what have I learned from January blog posts spanning 11 years? Lots, like I was an extremely whiny college student. Winter, especially after Christmas, historically bum me out. Majorly. I obsessively wish for spring, drink recklessly and waste too much time oscillating between desperately needing to have fun and worrying about being a grown up (I still don't know what that means). I feel so far away from the lady that just wanted to be somewhere else, constantly. But I am not immune to a bad day. I just don't have to live in that day. It really makes a difference when you provide yourself with a choice. You choose where you want to be, physically and where your brain lives. I want to live in sunshine and have as much fun as I can. Priorities.
And for the sake of a good dose of laughter, here's my insane 21 year old brain. You're welcome.
it is december 31st.
tomorrow it will be 2006.
this is a time for big reflection and anticipation. however, i don't feel like big reflection/anticipation today. i want to eat low-fat food, drink girly girly drinks, not even think about beer and have tres curly hair. this is my day to look like at LEAST ten bucks. come on hair gods, gimme a break today.i have split ends.
my uncle and i had a crazy wonderful conversation, which usually is not a crazy wonderful conversation. he made a really funny analogy about "facing your problems."
"what do you do in wrestling when you're in a bind: do you turn away or in to your opponent?"
"IN TO!!"
"THAT'S RIGHT!! now, who do you work for?"
"wha?"
"you work for YOURSELF! now it's time to fire, re-hire, and negotiate a new contract!"
man he was givin a sermon. i thought he was gonna take out a white handkerchief and mop off his sweaty brow.
i'm really into latin jazz right now.
let's rock 2006 right, fellows.
ciao.