I was asked to write an email about what works in our marriage for an engaged couples' pre-marriage retreat. Pretty cool. Here's an excerpt for all y'all engaged/together.
"Here's how I see it. A good relationship that turns into a lifetime partnership is completely about unconditional trust. Not just " I trust you to not lie to me." That's generally simple. That's when you're dating. The moment you're able to truly, seriously, trust your significant other to always keep you in mind on important decisions, have your best interest in mind when it comes to finances, believe he or she isn't taking advantage of you if the other makes less money, and overall believe that you are the love of each others life forever, then that's when you're ready for such a major commitment. It's easy to say I trust you, but there's so much to it. You have to be ready to believe with your HEAD that they love you just as much as you love them and that nothing, not even when it gets hard, could ever change that. You have to believe that your relationship is a TRUTH, a fact, not a theory or a fairytale, but a thing that nothing can ever question, change or alter. And that's hard if you're conditioned to be cautious with your feelings and be on alert for signs of infidelity, mistrust or betrayal. Being together means you give these up. You retire your spy hat forever...."